I Wander Back

My mind wanders back to her.
When I have allowed this in the past, I have been met with disappointment and inadvertent rejection.
Remembering this, I force myself to forget her mischievous smile and flirtatious manner. After all, what does a wolf have to offer a sparrow?
With a touch of bitterness, I make myself cold to her reminders, forsaking the lines upon which we had spoken.
And yet, at some point, my ignorance fails, and her kindness surprises me. I doubt my earlier judgments, and begin to slip into old habits.
I see her affection for her beloved, however, and remind myself that it makes no difference.

Androgynous Boys are Dangerous

A boy and a girl walk side-by-side. The girl ever-giggling, she knows not the truth that lies within her odd companion.

Seemingly the sweetest of lovers, the two are not in perfect harmony. The boy hides a darkness; an inner secret. He does not portray the masculinity of a normal male his age. He finds comfort in the fanciful and feminine. The girl passes this off as his being "special," and not as any real sign of immasculinity. The boy is lying to her; he does not feel any more attraction to her than he does a slab of marble. In truth, he only stays with the girl in a vain attempt to convince himself that he is not what he knows he is.

One day, the girl walks in on the boy during a private moment. In that single second, she discovers the secret that he has worked so hard to keep from her. Stunned beyond reckoning, she runs as fast as her light feet will take her. The boy is not upset, but determined. He gives chase, moving with great speed.

As the girl reaches her car, she fumbles for her keys. Before she can get inside, the boy is standing beside her. With an iron grip, the boy clamps his hand around the girl's neck. "I can't have you telling people my secret," he states with a steely voice.

As the girl's throat reaches its breaking point, a shot rings out from a nearby car. The scattered lead of a shotgun blast slams into the boy's side, and his grip is released. Before the girl can catch her breath once more, a young man pulls her into the car he exited a moment before. She notices the shotgun at his side, and realizes that he is the one who gunned down her former beloved. She begins to open the car door to leave--for she is not a prisoner--but stops when she sees her boy stand up once more. She had hoped beyond all sense that what she had seen was not the truth, but here it stood before her, a testament to her foolish affections:
Her boyfriend was a robot.


For the further adventures of Shotgun Boy and Oblivious Girl, check out my new blog:
The Science of Fiction

Someone

Someone who's genuine
Someone who's kind
Someone who loves
Someone to show the stars (and who'll accept them)
Someone who'll lean close under my arm as we walk through the cold.

I don't know who you are, but I'm waiting.
Please hurry; don't be shy.

I Know Why I Scream Her Name

All around me is chaos.
I cannot think, see, or breathe.
I run from the thought of her, yet can't rid myself of her memory.
And when I open my mouth, I speak her name.
Why?


For all her flaws, she embodies my every dream.
Her speech, her manner, her mind. All are as I've always desired, yet something is wrong.

I have spent countless hours and days longing for one such as her, yet she has time and again run from me, never knowing my sorrow.
I know that she doesn't see the way I think of her. I know that she will never fully love me, and that we are not meant for one another.
I am not in love with her; in truth, I do not want her.
Yet I still see her in my waking dreams. Why?

I see her out of my own choice. I chose to want a girl such as her, and so I placed her in my dreams. For as long as I hold tight to the siren's scream, I will forever be entranced, never in possession of my own mind.

She is a perfect Princess, but not mine.
I must let go of she who is not my joy.


Now I exist as a blank slate. Without a pursuit to define me, what am I?

A soldier?
A knight?
A boy?

It's not for me to decide.


I await she who is meant for me.
Have I already met her? It's possible.
Do I dare pursue another? Can my heart withstand a rejection? I'm not sure.
Am I being overdramatic? Probably.

A Lonely Walk

The town square is alight with wonder.
Though night has come, the trees sparkle with a magical glow.
Red brick marks the path of sweethearts and friends.
A girl walks slowly through the gentle lights, bundled in a warm jacket.
Dark-haired and sweet as the sunrise, she makes me smile (as she ever does).

She smiles as well, and for a moment I hope.
When she and I come close, she doesn't stop. She walks past, into the embrace of another.

I take a chilled breath, and keep moving. The square at my back, I steel myself against the cold and wonder, "why?"

Lost another one

The story you are about to read is true.
The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

-

First meetings and awkward greetings bring a hopeful question.
Through rekindled knowings and humorous writings, a friendship is formed.
Favorite bands and far-off lands bring smiles to the faces of both.
Plans are made, kind words exchanged; the world goes ever slower.
As conversations deepen, a silence thickens; is something wrong?
Later that day, a message displays:

Lucia went from being "single" to "in a relationship."

Dang it. -_-

She Runs

Gently she moves through the waters and the skies.
Neither in darkness or light, she slides in-between the waves and the winds, basking in the glow of the world ever-separate.
She dreams of other lands and adventures; I dream only of her.
Ever moving, she is an enigma of grace and frailty; of elegance and weakness.

I can't make her happy.

Am I a fool?